Not Interested

the poem below is dedicated a guy who claims to be a strong believer in God and the Bible, but drinks, swears, lived with a women he wasn’t married to and is very judgmental among other things.  Apparently, I am every bit of the woman he has hoped to find, but mmm… no thank you.  Anyway… hope you enjoy reading the poem.  And I know it doesn’t follow grammer or correct spelling.  It’s just how the mood was when it was written.

So many praises that uve given me
So many times uve said I m more than ud hope 2 find
But then @ times
There’s so many flaws that u c in me
Telling me I’m not capable of accepting nething different
than what I have known 4 so long
But isn’t it also that u wnt accept that which I believe?
U say u like me plenty
And then u say u luv me
U say u wish u cud have me
That ud do nething 2 make me happy
But the thing that matter to me
D things I celebrate n enjoy
R the things that u have done w/out 4 so long
And somehow u & me jst do nothing but clash
Yes mayb ud make me somewhat happy
And mayb u’d b able 2 support me
Maybe we’d have a nice car, decent pay & a house to call home
But I want kids 2 fill d house w/love I want Xmas tree to pick out & decorate
I want birthday cake, candles & wishes 2 b made
I believe in miracles & wishing on a star & good 4tune as well
But those things u view as being against the Mighty One
And I just cudnt give up I cudnt pretend
I cudnt live a lie not even 4 love
That might b once in a lifetime.


Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder… or Cold

Three hundred plus miles between us yet when we are on the phone talking, laughing and joking around it seems as though you are only a few blocks and turns away.  We can be silly together.  We tease, comfort and motivate each other.  We share hopes and dreams.  You tell me about the moments that fill your days and I share my highs and lows.  There is chemistry.  There is a connection.  There is you and me that’s now us.  But then we hang up because you and I have things to do which cannot be lagged any longer.  Though hesitant to say goodbye, we do and then we get so busy that we forget about each other.  A simple text or a short phone call are not in our thoughts.  Days pass us by and we still haven’t kept in touch.  I kind of miss you.  I know you miss me too.  So why do we not make a better effort at communicating when we both know that is key.  Especially since you are so far from me.  My eyes do not wonder.  I know where my heart is but I cannot help but dislike this situation we are in.  Will you relocate?  No!  Will I leave behind all that I know and come to you?  Highly unlikely.  At least not now anyway.  So… how do we make us work?  How do we stay together when we are not? 

Love Survives Through Tragedy

How many people can say that the love they feel will and has outlasted the test of time, trial and tragedy?  Not too many which is not very comforting.  But then there are couples like Larry Ragsdale and Kelcie Yeoman who have been through the worse and are holding strong.  These couples are motivation and allow for even the faintest hint of hope to remain.  Hope that maybe true love and happily ever after are indeed possible.

Time for a Change

Sometimes I can picture a really great life for me. Other times, I am so afraid that my remaining days will be spent in misery.  Whether it be because I’ve no love life, not too pleased with my job currently or because everything else is a big cluster of a mess I don’t see happiness at the end of the road I’m traveling on.  Maybe it’s time for a new course.  Maybe time to rethink the future and to alter the present.  I owe myself the effort at joy instead of gloomy mornings and cold evenings in a 90 degree weather.  So no more procrastinating.  No more doing for others but not for me.  I’ve got to make time for me and start working on accomplishing my goals.  I’ve been placing blame here and there (yes, I admit to my faults as well) but I’ve continued being a door mat.  No more!. ‘Cause nobody is going to be around to pick me up when I fall and nobody is going to nurse me back to health if claimed by an illness. I am on  my own and I’ve got to do better and be better.  So starting today, I will make a change.  A  little change can go a long way if I keep it up.  Starting with exercise, financials, confidence and education.  Wish me luck!

First Baby, Then Love

For whatever reason, I was inspired today to write another book.  So during my break I started typing away and now have nearly two pages of what could possible be a really great read or it could suck big time.  I’d appreciate any feedback on the below excerpt from my barely started book “First Baby, Then Love”

… I put away the pregnancy test making an attempt at keeping it hidden from view.  I knew that I couldn’t share this bit of information with anyone yet.  I needed time to think.  Time to come to terms with the knowledge of my pregnancy and the fact that surely there was now a life within me.  A life that I was responsible for and had control over.  One wrong move or careless act and this life could be over before it even began.  That thought made me sad and I felt a deep ache within my heart.  I realized I already cared and I couldn’t possibly abandon my baby at an orphanage’s doorstep or cut the life span.  No, I couldn’t do that and then go on living as though there never was a life other than my own to consider. …