maybe found “love”… or not

So I’ve met someone who’s quite charming and there seems to be potential for something more.  Not only does he make me laugh but he makes me giggle like a school girl.  Our official first date (hopefully not the last) will be on Friday and I am getting nervous.  I’ve not had the butterflies in my tummy in a long while so maybe this is an indicator of something good to come?  Keeping my fingers crossed!!!
However, I am skeptical.  He just seems too good to be true.  He’s tall, dark and handsome.  Add to that funny, mischievous, and somewhat romantic.  He likes music and the arts.  He praises me and isn’t afraid to voice his opinion.  Yet, he is careful about his words so as to not cause hurt.  He seems to have his life figured out for the most part.
The problem?  He’s got pictures of him and his ex on Facebook still.  And the photos have likes and comments like “congratulations on your engagement” and “love you both” on there.  No, I am not crazy spying on him.  He asked me to friend request him on Facebook so I can get to know about him a bit more.  I’m not worried about her being competition or anything like that.  What I am a tad bit concerned about is if he is or isn’t over her yet. According to him, he broke up with her because he sensed she’s not in love with him anymore.  That was a year ago or so.  So why are these lovey-dovey photos still on a social network?  I had photos of the puppy my ex had gifted me and everyone said that indicates I’m not over him.  I deleted the photos.  So isn’t this a bigger deal than a puppy?
Maybe this hints at a bit of insecurities deep down.  But… if I do date this guy on a regular basis… If we do become a couple… Is it okay for pictures of him and his ex to remain on his Facebook account?  Or do I ask that he deletes them?  Or do I wait for him to do so himself?


Love is not blind… It is Ignorant

Thinking about my past relationships, the dramas I’ve encountered and the times I’ve defended the actions of my exes and/or the family, I’ve come to the conclusion that love isn’t blind.  It isn’t that we don’t see our significant other is cheating, lying, abusing or whatever else the case might be.  Love is ignorant in my opinion.  We just choose to ignore all that and look past it.  We search for something, anything to make up for the bad with even the tiniest bit of good.

I’d spend hours crying myself to sleep because my boyfriend was spending time with his ex, believing the lies told by his mother and sister, making accusations without giving me the benefit of the doubt and/or avoiding my calls when in town.  My other boyfriend (who I was later engaged to) was Prince Charming until he bought a house.  This is when jealousy and envy kicked in on his brothers’ in-laws side.  Add to this that his mom liked and praised me much and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.  Eventually his family came between us and tore us apart.  All the while I knew that I was losing him to them.  I knew the end was near.  Yet I accepted his excuses for the meanness of his family.  I accepted becoming the outcast.  I ignored their interrogations, the accusations and eventually the ‘speech’ his mother gave me as to why she will not allow us to live happily ever after.

Even after all that, I chose to give him another chance to make things right. I let go of any resentment I might have had towards his family.  I spent a year meeting him in secrecy (after his family called off our wedding).  I forgave him for his betrayal, abandonment and disappearance.  The end result?  He disappeared once again after a year.  And he’s remained gone since then.

A Little bit of Heaven

When you hold me near
When you whisper sweet nothings in my ear
When you smile mischievously
When you wipe away my tears
and fight away all my fears
I get a glimpse of a little bit of heaven
and this is when my love for you grows.

When you assure me of your love
that’s undying and eternal
I believe your words to be true
When you swear on your life
Promising forever it will be you and I
When you kiss me with such hunger
and you love me with ferocity
I get a glimpse of a little bit of heaven
and this is when my love for you grows.

When I am safe in the blanket of your arms
When I am nestled against you
I am in paradise and I know
In this life with you is where I’m destined to be
When I am lost within the depths of your eyes
There is no place else I’d rather be
When I am at my best because I’ve got your love
I get a glimpse of a little bit of heaven
and this is when my love for you grows.