Bipolar at Heart

I love you 

You’re the apple of my eye

I hate you

Why are you so mean all the time 

I’m ao glad to be apending the rest of my life with you

Looking forward to decades of happy memories

I’m so frustrated by the things you do and don’t do

Common sense, courtesy and politeness are lacking in you

I wanna snuggle up to you

Stay like that always and forever

I wanna get away from you 

Am looking for the nearest exit route 

I feel blessed, trapped, loved and loathed 

Why does it seem like you don’t even care anymore

I’m belittled, insulted and saddened by the things you say 

Nothing I say or do is ever right

I never feel beautiful since I’ve been with you

Overweight, unattractive and full of flaws is how I see myself now

I’m lost in a maze with no way out 

All this has made me 

A bipolar at heart. 

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To the Man who Promised me Happily Ever After

I’m not happy. In fact, I am miserable. My heart is breaking more and more each day. I thought that in our marriage, I’d fall in love with you more as the days turned to weeks to months to years, but it’s the complete opposite. I am liking you less and less. I’ve lost pretty much all respect for you. I don’t even know how much longer I can tolerate you. 

Yes, you’re awesome in some ways. And at times you’re tentative, caring and thoughtful but more often than not you’re mean, rude, insulting, messy and demanding with a potty mouth. I hate that about you. You curse like a sailor. You curse at everyone with no regards to age or relation. You are a hypocrite. You are selfish and a liar. You constantly belittle me telling me just how useless and unproductive you think I am. You won’t let me go after my dreams or encourage me to realize and set goals. I must do what you think is worthwhile. You make fun of me letting me know just what you think of my past. And it isn’t anything good. You do not treat me like your wife who’s an equal but like a maid and a puppet whom you can cast aside at your leisure. 

You think that you’ve saved me from a meaningless life. You think you’ve given me purpose and reason. Well, you haven’t. My life was fine the way it was. I was single but I had friends and family who supported me through trials and triumphs. I had goals, I had potential, I had fun. I laughed wholeheartedly. I slept alone but didn’t cry myself to sleep most nights like I’ve been doing. I didn’t have a love interest but at least I had love in my life.