Regrets over Marriage (part 1)

I never envisioned myself waking up every morning for the rest of my life next to a man I didn’t love with all my heart and soul. I always said I couldn’t do that and I never planned on it. It just happened and I realize that with each night and each morning that comes and goes, I lose more and more of myself. I am hating myself because my husband; the man who has promised to love, honor and cherish me ’til death do us part, never fails to inform me of my flaws. 

It’s a year and 7 months since we got married and in all this time not once has he praised me. Not once has he said I look beautiful. Never did he say that he’s glad to be married to me. 

I think this marriage of ours is a sham. On his part? A business transaction. I know now that it wasn’t infatuation or lust that got my husband to ask me to marry him. It was a very carefully calculated life altering decision. I suspected even then he doesnt love me. My suspicions were right considering how our life together has been; more bad and ugly then good days. I think we have more ok days and little good days overall. 

On my part? Fear and I believed in his b.s. thinking him to be a great guy. Turns out he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I was afraid if I didn’t marry him, I’d be alone forever. But now I understand that not being married is not the equivalent of being alone. Now that I’m married I feel more alone than ever.  He is not someone I can confide in, nor can I share my hopes and dreams with him. He doesn’t care for them. He only cares about the things he deems of value and importance. He’s got a very low opinion of me and doesn’t hesitate when letting me know that. 

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Love Affair: Right or Wrong?

If once upon a time you fell in love and that love was returned but for so many stupid reasons, the fairy tale romance was disturbed and interrupted but years later you had the chance to pick up where you left off… would you take this chance?
What if he/she was committed to someone else at the moment?
What if you were married?
What if the only way to be together was to have an affair?  Obligations didn’t permit for either or both of you to leave your significant other?
In the case of ‘true love’ or ‘soul mates’ is a love affair excusable?  Is it right if it’s with the right guy/girl?
Do matters of the heart take precedence over morals and fairness and that which is just?