Missing My Husband and the way We used to be

I miss how we would cuddle on the couch and watch cartoons.

I miss how he’d kiss my cheek hello and goodbye when going to work and coming home.

I miss the jokes, the laughter, the emoji texts.

I miss him holding me tight through the night

I miss waking up next to him, cooking for him and eating dinner late at night with him ’cause he’s just returned home from work.

I miss making plans for our and our son’s future together.

I miss planning and hoping for another baby.

I miss going to bed and seeing him there.

I miss how he’d, on rare occasions, be surprising and bring me flowers.

I miss telling him storied of our sons and watching his face light up with pride.

I miss him.

I miss us.

I miss me and him being husband and wife.

I miss us being a family; just me, him and our baby.

Advertisements

A Love Affair 

Sometimes I wonder if we was right in getting married

Did our hearts really call out to one another

Is my soul his mate and his mine

Or did we improvise 

Are we just a compromise? 

I’d like to think that our love is true

Wait, was love even there when we said ‘I Do’?

I’d hate to admit it but I doubt that be the case

There were no butterflies 

No tears of joy, uncontrollable laughter or happy smiles

I was anxious, nervous with worry and stressing 

A wedding day shouldn’t be a burden, should it? 

I’m too old to believe in fairy tales 

But I always dreamed I’d find true romance 

Never saw myself going to bed angry or waking up even angrier

Thought the man that was constantly in my bed would also be residing in my heart

And maybe he is 

Unknown to me he’s got the key to my heart

But it’s been a bumpy road since day one 

Maybe that’s why I’m not feeling anything at all

I want hugs and kisses, pleasant surprises, a compliment or two 

Instead I get complaints, insults and comparisons 

I’m no good at this, even worse at that

I’m not inspired, motivated or desired 

I doubt I can last long like this

My heart is breaking and hurting 

My soul is dying 

I’m wanting to fix this thing that’s broken between us 

I want to fall desperately in love

I’m wanting a love affair 

One where I’m super close to losing my mind 

And I want it all with the man I married 

I want this affair to be with this husband of mine.